Various and Sundry

Before I got this job with the publishing company, I worked for a small, religious organization. A friend of mine, upon hearing about the free yoga, bagels, and massage at my current job, remarked, "So, you basically traded God for a bagel."

I went on a huge shopping spree today. I haven't been on an all-encompassing shopping excursion in weeks, and we had about four pages of things we needed. Customer service is not what it used to be. When you ask an Associate where an item is located, I've found their preferred method of answering your question is to: a.) tell you they don't work in that department and don't know what you're talking about, b.) tell you they think what you're looking for is probably located in (X) department, and then c.) wave you off with a grunt in the general direction of said department. Essentially, you end up walking up and down aisles you've traversed many times before, desperately seeking a 3M wall hook. You will find said wall hook in the bathroom decor section, next to a soap dish.

My cousin got married in Gastonia this weekend. I was amazed to find that only two glasses of wine will convince me I have the dance moves equal to that of Britney Spears in her heyday, before she became tainted by the Pepsi empire and K-Fed. I was upstaged only by one of my aunts, who told us she could duplicate James Brown's moves, and then proceeded to execute them right there in front of God and everybody.

Aaron and I went out with our friends, Rob and Christine, on Friday. We saw The Brunettes play. They were great. If you haven't heard them (The Brunettes, not Rob and Christine), you must.

Workin' Nine to Five

So....very....tired. I started my new job today. I woke up at 1:00 and stayed awake until almost 5:00. I don't think I've ever been this anxious about starting a new job before. For some reason, I had it in my head they'd take one look at the first thing I did, tell me they'd made a huge mistake and to just go ahead, pack up the Pentel Fine Point I'd brought in with me, and hit the highway.

But the day went well. And the perks are quite nice. Yoga every Monday at 4:00 for anyone who wants to participate. A massage therapist comes in every other Friday. And Wednesday is Bagel Day; free bagels are brought in for the entire company and freely given to one and all. An Associate Editor told me they are very food oriented at this company. I knew right then that I was the girl for them after all.

Hopefully the last big life change for quite some time

I start my new full time job next week and I can't wait. It's with a publishing company here in town and is about 10 minutes from my house. I'm going to love it for several reasons: 1) Out of the ten people I've met so far who work there, ALL of them say they love their job and would never, ever leave. 2) The company publishes books, so it's like the mother ship is calling me home. 3) I can sleep until just after 7:00 and still make it to work on time. 4) Books! Books! 5) The benefits are awesome. 6) It's located downtown. When I tell people I work downtown, they'll be fooled into thinking I'm a cool, hip downtown-worker. Of course, that initial impression will be shattered within minutes of continuing a conversation with me.

Honesty really is the best policy

I see in Aaron's blog today that he doesn't have time to start a box business since he has so many other things going on. One of those things is "wash the dishes". Let me tell you the last time Aaron did the dishes. It was in June of 1993, eleven years before he met me. He must have gotten the "washing dishes" idea from the fact that AS HE WROTE HIS BLOG, I was, in fact, in the kitchen doing the dishes.

Now he is in the kitchen getting a nice big bowl of ice cream, which will mean my freshly scrubbed counters will be dripped upon and another dirty bowl and ice cream scoop will be added to the sink.

It's not that I'm bitter. I just like to see everyone be as honest as possible.

A Whole Lotta Baloney

A few days ago I went to the deli to buy some meat. Here is the conversation that ensued between me and the lady behind the counter:

Me: "I'd like to get a pound of this Italian turkey, please."

Her: "Which one?"

Me: "This Italian turkey right here. One pound. Please slice it thin."

She rummaged around behind the counter for a good five minutes. Finally she asked, "Do you see a package that I can slice?" Since I wasn't with her behind the counter, I couldn't really see anything. I said, "I guess you could slice the package that I see right here, couldn't you?"

Her: "Which package?"

Me: "The Italian turkey. (pointing) Right there."

Her: (pointing to the one next to it) "This one?"

Me: "No, that one right there."

Her: "This one?"

Me: "Yes. That one."

Her: "How much do you want?"

Me: "One pound, please."

Her: (taking it out of the case) "How do you want it sliced?"

Me: "Thin."

She spent the next five minutes unwrapping the turkey and trying to find the right price for it, which was clearly marked on the outside counter.

Me: "I believe it says $8.99 a pound right here."

Her: (to another co-worker). "Do you know the price for this? And the code?"

She put the turkey on the slicer. Then she turned around and said,

"How much do you want?"

Me: "One. Pound."

Her: "How do you want this sliced?"

Me: "I'm coming back there and slicing the dang thing myself. Get out of my way."

No, what I really said was,

"Thin."

She sliced the meat and placed it on the scales.

Her: "You wanted a pound and a half, right?"

Me: "One. One. Pound."

Her: "It's a little over one pound. Is that ok?"

Me: "Yes. In the name of all that's good and holy in this world, yes."

Her: "Anything else for you today?"

And, believe it or not, I actually ordered a half pound of provolone.