How I amused myself while Aaron was gone

I had all kinds of plans to accomplish great things last week when Aaron was in St Louis. I was going to re-pot my herbs, clean up my writing samples, clean out closets and take stuff to Goodwill, organize my photographs that have been sitting in bags in my bedside table drawer for about three years, organize my recipes, clean the entire house, and begin the time-consuming task of changing my last name with my bank, student loan, and various and sundry companies that faithfully bill me each month.

I did take stuff to Goodwill.

Other than that, I watched a looot of crap tv. You know you're past the point of no return when you find yourself watching the E! True Hollywood Story: Charles in Charge - a show you never even watched when it was on the air. I also found out way more than I needed to know about child stars who have gone bad. Or have just gone. But the pinnacle of my debauchery came when I planned my whole Thursday evening around the Britney Spears interview. The baby blue glitter eyeshadow! The cleavage! The tears! The not-so-believeable declaration of love for K-Fed! Then my sister-in-law Mary called, and we discussed the entire interview like we'd just watched the Presidential debates.

It's back to normal now, though; PBS is running the story of Isaac Newton. Aaron is making various intelligent comments. I just got done surfing People.com, trying to find out when and where Nicole Kidman is getting married this weekend.

Road trips and one mediocre book

Aaron leaves for St Louis tomorrow to go to an art convention. I am planning to do some serious cleaning. I usually clean when I'm nervous or anxious, and I'm nervous and anxious that he's going to get into a fiery car crash on the highway. I started tonight with the bathroom and kitchen and will probably continue tomorrow with the laundry, changing sheets, vacuuming, and dusting. I don't know what I'll do the rest of the week.
We're reading "The Mermaid Chair" in my book club and so far I'm not impressed. The main character just seems so whiny and self-absorbed. I've heard "The Secret Life of Bees" is better.
We visited my sister-and brother-in-law this weekend in Athens, TN. Athens is home to the Lost Sea and Mayfield ice cream. All the walking I did at the Lost Sea did not nearly make up for the five and a half gallons of ice cream I consumed.

A very intimate look into my gastrointestinal problems

Does anyone else out there suffer from some weird stomach ailment that can't be explained? (How's that for a specific question)? Here's what I'm talking about: until college, I could eat anything and not feel a thing. Then, when I was about 19 or so, I suddenly began to get horrible stomach pains when I'd eat broccoli. Since then, I've developed some kind of weird thing where I can't eat zucchini, squash, cauliflower, and, as I so painfully discovered last night, fiddlehead. Lots of people have told me it's just gas, but this ain't just gas, people. After we got home last night from a very lovely and delicious dinner with some very fun and intelligent people, my stomach felt as though someone was pushing hard on it from the inside out. It's a rather difficult pain to explain. I took two Rolaids and two Gas-X with Immodium, but to no avail. It went on for hours, me doubled over in pain, and finally I woke up at about 2 am out of an uneasy sleep and was certain I was going to throw up. I felt like this for about an hour, then finally, the pain began to subside, and I fell asleep. If anyone else out there suffers from this, or knows someone who does, please, please let me know if you've discovered if there is anything you can do for it. I've talked to my doctor, and she just told me not to eat the things that make me feel this way. But it can't be good to have your list of foods slowly diminish. And I don't always know what's going to affect me like this. (Heavy cream sauces affect me the same way, but I'm not too concerned about that, since they aren't good for you anyway).

And, on a lighter note: Anna was fetched yesterday by my sister and her boyfriend. I think Missy misses her a lot. Every day when I take her out, she sniffs around the yard, taking great care to put her nose in all the places Anna peed. I just swiffered and vacuumed about two inches of dog hair off the floors, but I miss her, too.

Tomorrow night is Book Club. We're discussing "Sights Unseen", by Kaye Gibbons. If you even remotely like to read, you should read Kaye. Start with "Ellen Foster". I met Kaye once at a lecture she gave at Anderson College, which is why I think I can take liberties with calling her by her first name. I asked her to sign a book (which happened to be "Sights Unseen") and told her I'd just finished teaching "Ellen Foster" to my AP English class. She seemed genuinely pleased and signed my book, "To Shannon: Many thanks! Kaye Gibbons". I felt like I'd just met a rock star, and walked away grinning crazily from ear to ear. What a nerd I am.

Two Crazy Cousins

Aaron and I have been keeping my sister's black lab, Anna, while she and her boyfriend are at the beach for 10 days. It's been good for Missy; she needs to be socialized with other dogs. Anna is a calm, well-mannered dog, who can shake your hand and sit and won't go for a treat until you give her the ok. Missy is....well, let's just say Missy won't be winning the Eukanuba American Dog Show anytime soon.

Missy has a large rawhide bone that has been lying around the house for about two weeks. Periodically, she'll show some interest in it. A couple of days ago, Anna loped over to it and picked it up. Missy immediately became terribly concerned about the bone, shoving her face in Anna's, making a small whining noise. Anna growled softly under her breath, and the game was on. I tried to explain to Anna that the bone belonged to Missy, but somehow she didn't understand. Missy became more and more agitated. I finally went into the kitchen to get Missy a pig's ear as a consolation prize. As she took it, Anna came dashing over. I tried to explain to Anna that she had the bone to chew on, but she just didn't get it. So I gave her her own pig's ear. Each dog took their repective ear out into the living room, where Missy promptly dropped hers and picked up the bone Anna had discarded. Anna then invaded Missy's personal space. I made Anna take back the pig's ear, and the two dogs circled the living room, rolling their eyes at one another. Finally, they each took a corner and settled down.

The bone has been passed back and forth since then, causing much consternation. Anna, it turns out, is quite passive-aggressive. Right now, Anna is fast asleep on the floor, and Missy is chewing industriously on the bone.