Here's What Four Hours of Sleep a Night Will Do To You
Aaron and I have sunk to a new low. After countless nights of little to no sleep and few opportunities to leave the house, we found ourselves watching "Cheaters" tonight on tv. And it was a gem. For all you fellow low-lifes out there, here's the jist:
Tanya has been dating Dwight for a few months when she begins to suspect he is cheating on her. With her mother, no less. What ensues is white trash at its whitest trashiest. Tanya, via Cheaters, sets up a hidden camera in the home she shares with her mother and father. Just as she suspected, Mommie Dearest is canoodling with good old Dwight. Many scenes are pixellated out, much to the dismay, I'm sure, of Cheaters viewers everywhere. Tanya must work up the courage to face her mother, and the Cheaters host is there to help her, every step of the way. He gives Tanya lots of back pats, for instance.
When Tanya enters her house, she immediately confronts her mother and Dwight. Dwight, who appears to have the IQ of a mayonnaise sandwich, stands with mouth agape. Behind him on the wall is a painting probably bought in front of a gas station. Chaos abounds, and Tanya's father, who appears to be drunk, comes out of a back bedroom and begins to soundly curse all involved. When he finds out what happened, he goes for Mayo Boy and proceeds to pound the crap out of him.
We had to turn the channel at this point, ashamed of our voyerism. Two minutes later, we just happened to be flipping by again and were astounded to see Tanya's dad being hauled out of the house on a stretcher. I guess he had some kind of heart condition, and finding out his wife was cheating on him with his daughter's boyfriend was just too much.
Parenting is tough. Strangely, I'll go to bed tonight feeling slightly better about my mothering skills.
Tanya has been dating Dwight for a few months when she begins to suspect he is cheating on her. With her mother, no less. What ensues is white trash at its whitest trashiest. Tanya, via Cheaters, sets up a hidden camera in the home she shares with her mother and father. Just as she suspected, Mommie Dearest is canoodling with good old Dwight. Many scenes are pixellated out, much to the dismay, I'm sure, of Cheaters viewers everywhere. Tanya must work up the courage to face her mother, and the Cheaters host is there to help her, every step of the way. He gives Tanya lots of back pats, for instance.
When Tanya enters her house, she immediately confronts her mother and Dwight. Dwight, who appears to have the IQ of a mayonnaise sandwich, stands with mouth agape. Behind him on the wall is a painting probably bought in front of a gas station. Chaos abounds, and Tanya's father, who appears to be drunk, comes out of a back bedroom and begins to soundly curse all involved. When he finds out what happened, he goes for Mayo Boy and proceeds to pound the crap out of him.
We had to turn the channel at this point, ashamed of our voyerism. Two minutes later, we just happened to be flipping by again and were astounded to see Tanya's dad being hauled out of the house on a stretcher. I guess he had some kind of heart condition, and finding out his wife was cheating on him with his daughter's boyfriend was just too much.
Parenting is tough. Strangely, I'll go to bed tonight feeling slightly better about my mothering skills.
posted by SHANNON & AARON TUCKER at 7:19 PM
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