There's more than one way to skin a cat
A cat was hit on the road that runs in front of our house, crawled up on our lawn, and died. It kept startling us every time we'd go out to get in our cars in the morning. Missy wanted to investigate every time she went out to pee.
Fortunately, I know how to dispose of dead cats that end up in your yard. Many years ago, when I lived in Greenville, SC, I discovered a dead black cat in my driveway one morning as I was leaving for work. I went home for lunch that day and called Animal Control. "Hello," I said. "I have a dead cat in my driveway. Could you come out and get it?"
"Don't do that," the man on the other end answered.
"How then," I asked, "should I dispose of this dead cat?"
"All's I can tell ya is to put 'im in a black garbage bag and thow 'im in your garbage," he replied.
This seemed to me to be a terribly undignified way to dipose of the cat. I thought about digging a hole and having a proper cat funeral, then realized I was too lazy. I went outside with a shovel and scooped him up. It was more difficult that I thought. Rigor mortis had set in, and he didn't go very gracefully into the bag. I finally got him in my garbage and dealt with blowflys on my front door until garbage pickup day. I'd brought home Chik-Fil-A for lunch that day, and haven't been able to eat their chicken sandwich since.
So, I knew a black plastic garbage bag was the solution for the pretty grey kitty with the while tail and paws who now lay in our yard. The problem was, the shovel was out at our new house. It took several days before I was able to go get it. By that time, the maggots were having a party and everyone was invited. I scooped up the cat and manuevered him toward the industrial strength black garbage bag I felt sure would disguise any smells. A layer of the cat was left on the ground, complete with a bit of white tail. I managed to carry it all to our garbage can. I thought to myself, "That wasn't so bad. I think I should be okay."
Later that night, I ate a big piece of coconut cream pie. Big mistake.
Our garbage can still smells of death.
Fortunately, I know how to dispose of dead cats that end up in your yard. Many years ago, when I lived in Greenville, SC, I discovered a dead black cat in my driveway one morning as I was leaving for work. I went home for lunch that day and called Animal Control. "Hello," I said. "I have a dead cat in my driveway. Could you come out and get it?"
"Don't do that," the man on the other end answered.
"How then," I asked, "should I dispose of this dead cat?"
"All's I can tell ya is to put 'im in a black garbage bag and thow 'im in your garbage," he replied.
This seemed to me to be a terribly undignified way to dipose of the cat. I thought about digging a hole and having a proper cat funeral, then realized I was too lazy. I went outside with a shovel and scooped him up. It was more difficult that I thought. Rigor mortis had set in, and he didn't go very gracefully into the bag. I finally got him in my garbage and dealt with blowflys on my front door until garbage pickup day. I'd brought home Chik-Fil-A for lunch that day, and haven't been able to eat their chicken sandwich since.
So, I knew a black plastic garbage bag was the solution for the pretty grey kitty with the while tail and paws who now lay in our yard. The problem was, the shovel was out at our new house. It took several days before I was able to go get it. By that time, the maggots were having a party and everyone was invited. I scooped up the cat and manuevered him toward the industrial strength black garbage bag I felt sure would disguise any smells. A layer of the cat was left on the ground, complete with a bit of white tail. I managed to carry it all to our garbage can. I thought to myself, "That wasn't so bad. I think I should be okay."
Later that night, I ate a big piece of coconut cream pie. Big mistake.
Our garbage can still smells of death.
posted by SHANNON & AARON TUCKER at 5:30 PM
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