The day the music died

Today the piped-in soft rock in my office cut off suddenly for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES. There I was, tapping away on the keyboard, entering the address of a very nice man who had just been explaining to me how he’d suffered from the gout on and off for the past five years and how he was going to have to sue his insurance company over the car wreck he’d been in, when “I Know This Much is True” began to sound really scratchy. Then it cut out in some places. I started to get hopeful. I finished my call, hung up, and began opening an envelope when suddenly it struck me. It was quiet. Too quiet. The girl whose office I share had gotten up to use the copier. All around me, I heard papers rustling and phones softly ringing. The music had stopped! I wanted to shout for joy at the sudden peace I’d found in the middle of a Monday. I instantly began to cheer up.

I could just imagine the Main Music Controller in the Music Control Room begin to panic. “EVERYONE TO THEIR POSTS! EVERYONE TO THEIR POSTS! GOOD LORD, PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! WE’VE LOST THE MUSIC, I REPEAT, THE MUSIC HAS BEEN ABORTED!!” In my mind, I saw men and women running back and forth, papers flying everywhere, a siren screaming in the background with red lights flashing. I imagined the Main Music Controller running up to a man cowering at his desk. “THE MUSIC HAS BEEN ABORTED! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF! IF WE DON’T GET THE MUSIC BACK ON THESE PEOPLE MIGHT START THINKING FOR THEMSELVES. FOR THEMSELVES!” And then he slapped him soundly across the face.

I chuckled to myself just as my office partner came back. She gave me a funny look out of the corner of her eye. At that moment, “Take It To The Limit” came on over the speakers.

I could just hear all the guys up in Music Control breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Situation Averted.